Dexter Bigsby

<pre>



               EXT. PARK - DAY

               Classical Music is playing.  On a table a Dexter Bigsby is
               playing a HOODED FIGURE in chess.  The man makes his final
               move and knocks down his opponents king.

                                   DEXTER
                         Checkmate
                             (looks directly at camera)
                         Grandma!

                                                         FADE TO BLACK:

               Sub - Dexter Bigsby, Portrait of a Career Student Film Maker

               FADE IN:



               INT. DEXTER'S APARTMENT - DAY

               Dexter is sitting in the 

               KITCHEN.  

               He's smoking cigarettes and sipping coffee.  There is an
               INTERVIEWER there but he's behind the camera, and could never
               be seen.

                                   DEXTER
                         I've always had a dark streak.  My
                         mother died during childbirth and
                         my dad died not too long after.



               EXT. OWL'S HEAD PIER - DAY

               Dexter is smoking and looking reflectively at the boats.

                                   DEXTER (V.O.)
                         I moved to my grandmother's.  She
                         came from the old country, and had
                             (beat)
                         different idea's on how to raise a
                         child.

                                                                CUT TO:



               INT. DEXTER'S APARTMENT - DAY

               SUB: In The Valley of Giants (2005)

               LIVING ROOM

               Dexter is sitting cross legged at a coffee table.  There is a
               pack of Magnum sized condoms, a carton of eggs, and a claw
               hammer.

               He opens the pack of condoms, and pulls out one.  He puts in
               one, two, three eggs.  He ties a knot on the condom and
               places it on the coffee table.  

               He picks up a hammer.  He looks into the camera.

                                   DEXTER
                         Grandma!

               He smashes the eggs.

                                                                CUT TO:



               INT. DEXTER'S APARTMENT - DAY

               Dexter is sitting on his couch in the

               LIVING ROOM

                                   INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
                         Tell me more about that.  

                                                                CUT TO:



               INT. DEXTER'S APARTMENT

               BATHROOM

               SUB: The Dentist (2003)

               Dexter is looking directly at the camera and brushing his
               teeth.  He's crying.  He's holding up a tape deck.  The voice
               coming out is obviously Dexter mimicking an old lady.

                                   TAPE DECK
                         Brush your teeth!  
                             (beat)
                         Brush your teeth!
                             (beat)
                         Brush your teeth!
                             (beat)
                         Brush your teeth!



               INT. DEXTER'S APARTMENT - DAY

               Back to the LIVING ROOM

                                   DEXTER
                         About my grandmother.

                                                                CUT TO:

               PICTURE OF DEXTERS GRANDMOTHER

                                   DEXTER (V.O) (CONT'D)
                         She was a powerful woman.  I don't
                         mean that in a positive way.  I
                         mean that in the same way you would
                         talk about- 

                                                                CUT TO:



               BACK TO DEXTER

                                   DEXTER
                             (looks directly into the
                              camera)
                         Hitler!

                                                                CUT TO:

               PICTURE OF DEXTERS GRANDMOTHER, NOW WITH A HITLER MUSTACHE

                                   DEXTER  (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                         A facist of a woman.  Imagine
                         childhood, it's supposed to be full
                         of bright colors, blues and greens
                         and yellows.  Now imagine what you
                         would think of an East European
                         gulag.  Greys, browns, blacks. 
                         That's what she turned my life
                         into.  She robbed me of those
                         colors.  This is why I shoot in
                         black and white.

                                                                CUT TO:

               DEXTER

                                   DEXTER (CONT'D)
                         I want to get those colors back,
                         but I just can't.

                                                              FADE OUT.

               FADE IN:



               INT. DEXTER'S APARTMENT - DAY

               It's a different day.  Dexter is wearing a different set of
               clothes.  He's pacing around the living room.  He's on the
               phone.

                                   DEXTER
                         Wes, hey!  Mr. Wes Anderson, big
                         man!  Long time, I loved Rushmore! 
                         I always knew you were going to use
                         that character.
                             (beat)
                         Who am I?  Dex.
                             (short beat)
                         Dexter Bigsby?  I sent you those
                         reels about a month ago?  

               Dexter talks on the phone.

                                   DEXTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                         I find myself being rejected by the
                         main stream.  I welcome it.  It
                         takes the world time to catch up
                         with visionaries like me.

                                   DEXTER (CONT'D)
                             (Still talking with Wes
                              Anderson)
                         The grandma thing is MY trademark. 
                         It's like Futura font, or the folk
                         music you play with your movies.  
                             (listens to Wes)
                         Well fuck you!  You studied
                         philosophy, what the fuck do you
                         know about cinema?  And bee-tee
                         double u The Royal Tannenbaums
                         sucked.
                             (thinks better of it)
                         No wait.  Wes I'm sorry, I'm an
                         artiste I'm a bit hot
                         blooded...Wes?  Wes?

               Dexter hangs up phone and looks into the camera.

                                   DEXTER (CONT'D)
                         Shut it off!



               EXT. BODEGA - NIGHT

               Dexter is outside eating a bag of nachos.  There's nacho dust
               covering his face.

                                   DEXTER
                         That's didn't go well.  But there
                         hasn't been a single artist of any
                         kind that made it when he was
                         alive.  Name one!

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Leonardo De Vinci 

                                   DEXTER
                         Ok two.

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Robert Frost.

                                   DEXTER
                         Ok I get the point.

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Andy Warhol, Jim Carroll, Jack
                         Kerouac, Steven Spielburg, Lou
                         Reed, Kurt Cobain-

                                   DEXTER
                         Ha! That's where you're wrong. 
                         Cobain's best material came out
                         after he killed himself.

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         In Utero was his best album.  Even
                         the reviewers- 

                                   DEXTER
                         No no no, that box set.  Wait a
                         sec...
                             (flash of inspiration)
                         I'm going to kill myself!

               Dexter walks towards his building.

                                   INTERVIEWER
                             (following)
                         Dex, he was established before he-

                                   DEXTER
                         I'm brillant.
                             (whips around points at
                              the interviewer)
                         You're going to film it.  My final
                         film.  You'll be part of history!

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         I don't think this is a good idea,
                         we're just doing this for class
                         credit remember?

                                   DEXTER
                         Fools!  All of them fools.  You
                         don't need school to make a good
                         film, you need
                             (points to his heart)
                         This.  And a sense of adventure.  I
                         know I've been going to that Film
                         Academy for 12 years now.  The only
                         thing I they taught me was how to
                         set up a tripod.  We can win a
                         Sundance award for this you, and
                         me!

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         We were just going to put it on
                         youtube and call it a day.

                                   DEXTER
                         Then we'll break it with all the
                         hits we'll get!



               INT. DEXTER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

               Dexter is dressed in black.  He has a noose around his neck. 
               The rest of the rope is trailing behind him.  He's holding a
               candle.  In his other hand is his movie camera.  The entire
               apartment is lit by tea lights.

                                   DEXTER
                         Is it set for black and white?

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Yeah
                             (beat)
                         If you're looking for a place to
                         hang yourself, wouldn't it be
                         easier with the lights on.

                                   DEXTER
                         No, the ending the light of an
                         artist is a dark task.  Like
                         snuffing out the light of a candle.

               Dexter stops in the hallway and looks up.

                                   DEXTER (CONT'D)
                         Dammit, turn the light on.  

               The lights go on.  

                                   DEXTER (CONT'D)
                         There's no rafters in this
                         apartment?  What the hell?  
                             (to interviewer)
                         How am I going to kill myself?



               INT. DEXTER'S APARTMENT - LATER

               Dexter is laying down on the couch.  Smoking.  He is still
               has the noose around his neck.

                                   DEXTER
                         Are you sure you don't know anyone
                         with a gun I can borrow?

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you.

                                   DEXTER
                         I swear the younger generation, No
                         guts!  Art is to provoke-

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Yeah yeah yeah.

               There is a few seconds of silence.  Dexter looks up to the
               ceiling.

                                   DEXTER
                             (shoots up)
                         Pills!  

               Dexter gets up and runs off to the bathroom.

                                   DEXTER (O.S.) (CONT'D)
                         I got plenty of pills in here! 
                         Aren't you excited?

                                   INTERVIEWER
                             (sarcastic)
                         Oh yeah totally.

               Dexter comes out of the bathroom with a fistful of pills.

                                   DEXTER
                         Got them!
                             (beat)
                         Oh come on!  This is a big moment
                         for me.

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         I'm sure it is.

                                   DEXTER
                         Come on buddy.  What's wrong?

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Nothing.  Just do it, I promise
                         I'll film your corpse in black
                         white.

                                   DEXTER
                         Oh come on, something's wrong.

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Did you ever think on who would
                         clean up your mess?  Or pay rent?

                                   DEXTER
                         It's a stupid idea isn't it?

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Yeah.

                                   DEXTER
                         Selfish?

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Totally.

                                   DEXTER
                         Ok I'll put the pills back.

               Dexter goes off to the bathroom.

                                   INTERVIEWER
                         Thank you.
                             (beat)
                         You know, Dex.  You don't make bad
                         films.  Maybe you should expand
                         your tastes is all?  Or find a new
                         signature.  Sam Peckinpaw went from
                         The Wild Bunch to music videos.  He
                         expand-
                             (beat)
                         Are you even listening?

               The camera goes to the 

               BATHROOM

               Dexter is on the ground.  The noose still around his neck. 
               He's holding an empty pill bottle in one hand, the other hand
               is his film camera.  He's filming the interviewer. 

                                   DEXTER
                         Grandma.

               Dexter fades away.

                                                              FADE OUT:

               Uptempo classical music plays.  Credits roll.
</pre>